List of Characters in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Best Little Whorehouse Film Best Little Whorehouse Film Screenplay (Script). s, Texas. Great memorable quotes and script exchanges from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas movie on AUDITIONS-The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Written by Carol Hall, Larry L King, Peter Masterson Directed Cold readings from the script.

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Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. You know, it’s always a business doing pleasure with you, Charlie!

sctipt They want me to close her down, run her out of town. How can I ask her to leave when all I want her to do is stay? I saw a picture once, of them fellers from, you know, that’s supposed to be from up there? Bald-headed, little feet, little hands – got lttle peckers. Well, I ain’t interested. I don’t think my girls would be either!

All we wanted to do was keep it quiet! If you grew up anywhere in Texas, you knew at an early age they was selling somethin’ out there – and it wasn’t poultry! The power of television, of public exposure – it scares me. I swear, I could get the mayor’s own children to throw rocks at him! Honey, we teas everything in this profession, but one thing I ain’t never seen – man or woman – is a grown-up.

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The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas

So, for awhile, as the story goes, the girls begin accepting poultry in trade: And that’s how the place got its name: Don’t feel sorry for me.

I started out poor, and I worked my way up to outcast. I couldn’t be a ballerina now. I have a hard enough time balancin’ these things now without gettin’ on my toes! Well, I always just thought if you see somebody without a bet, give ’em yours!

Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, The (1982) Movie Script

Well, one of those nights when you ain’t on duty, you drop in whoreouse there. My girls’ll love to show you a little appreciation.

Oh, Fred, you mean to tell me you don’t think the cows don’t appreciate the time off when a bull goes over to another pasture?

You ain’t never gonna be no more than you are right now: You may be right, but it’s a hell of a lot better than being a whore. Boys, I got myself a pretty good bullshit detector, and I can tell when somebody’s peeing on my boots and telling me it’s a rainstorm. I was sayin’ just this morning at the weekly prayer breakfast, in this whorehosue capital, that it behooves both the Jews and the Arabs to settle their differences in a Christian manner!

I’ll beat you down so far, you’ll have to roll down your socks to take a shit. This is an energetic, but ultimately mediocre adaptation of the play, directed on Broadway by Tommy Tune.


Burt Reynolds is the town sheriff and a regular patron of a local bordello. He wages a public battle to keep it open after it is targeted as the devil’s den by a television minister.

Charles Durning was nominated for a Oscar for Best Supporting Actor, and there whorehiuse some lively song and dance numbers featuring Dolly Parton as the madame of the Chicken Ranch. However, this becomes bogged down in too many serious moments for it to be more than a lightweight musical comedy.

It was the nicest little whorehouse you ever saw! You know what burns my ass?

Best Little Whorehouse in Texas Movie Quotes

A flame about three feet high! Be like putting two bowling balls in a marble bag! Everybody liked Ed Earl – especially Ed Earl. Me jumpin’ up and down? I’d black both my eyes! Shoot, Miss Mona – you know I’m a married man! Hey Deputy Fred, how’s your tallywhacker wjorehouse Texas suites my style. Please enter your email address: Know another quote from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas? Don’t let people miss on a great quote from the “Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” movie – add it here!