Psychotherapy of the Playground. Parenting
“The first twelve months of baby’s life is incomparable stress for the mother, perhaps more than pregnancy and childbirth,” says Arlene Eisenberg, author of the world famous benefits for young mothers “the First year of a child’s life”. Survivors of the twelve months understand that is referring to Eisenberg. No, no sleepless nights, not heart-rending cries and mountains of wet diapers. All of this nonsense, everyday stuff. Eventually, children begin at night to sleep, stop crying for no reason, and mountains of diapers can always be replaced with disposable diapers. Another gravity – it is about a series of everyday life and the lack of communication – the situation is just staggering for most young mothers.
I know exactly when my life has ceased to belong to me. It happened on March 10, when my daughter was born. Since that day I no longer understand what freedom in General and free time in particular. Everything else daughter. It depends on how long I sleep (and sleep if at all), when to take a shower, whether to eat a sandwich or limited empty tea. From morning till evening, until our dad, the two of us. Eat, sleep, change diapers, eat again, sleep again…
Phone calls, occasional visits of her friends, awaited the arrival of the grandmothers – that, in fact, all communication with the world. Outing to the store is an event, a trip to the clinic – it was an amazing event, the whole event. All the rest of the diapers, bottles, sickness, entreating. I, like any normal person caught up in complete isolation, the existence of a slowly maddening. The only thing that helps to withstand deadly monotonous rhythm and not to move from being “on the verge” in a deep depression. – our Playground.
Interestingly, around the world young mothers United special clubs and self-help groups. They come here to chat or to talk,to exchange experiences and discuss business essential, simply to cry on someone’s shoulder. You ask why we need such clubs, if you can unburden and with a friend, and mom, and my neighbor? Unfortunately, none of them would understand the young mother as another young mother. Both are obsessed with one subject, both every second word “but my…” (“my”). Try to talk to Mama about nature, the weather or fashion. She will not hear you, and if you hear, vaguely. But such way to communicate is unlikely to suit a childless friend or colleague. In other words, mothers definitely needed a support group. And if they don’t exist officially, mom-“neformaly” to create them yourself, on a normal Playground.
Every day, in any weather, our little Park is filled with colored strollers. In the bushes by the stream sleep the smallest. Their sleep is taken to protect, so older children are grazing on the site. There they have a sandbox, swings, slides and all sorts of climbing frames – all you need baby over years. And those who “already” exceeded three, spend time in the backyard of the school. Here to their services asphalt paths, ideal for racing bikes and drawing with crayons.
Mom this territorial division is also satisfied. In each “point” is your club. Conversations moms babies deeply uninteresting experienced moms employee thieves. What’s the point to discuss the quality of the diapers, if your already asks for the potty? The problems that worried a month ago, completely forgotten. Yesterday, for example, mother tiny Sergei complained that the baby is not gaining enough weight and in my five months weighs only 6, 5 kg. I’ve been trying to remember how much I weighed at this age daughter, but did not remember (although since then, it took only two months).
What can we say about the moms who have a second child. Sveta’s oldest daughter is thirteen, the youngest is six months. Us moms of the firstborn, she seems incredibly experienced, and we all run to her for advice. “Oh, girls, it’s been so long! I don’t remember anything. Moreover, for thirteen years, everything has changed,” Light and curiously listens to eighteen-year-old Natasha about how best to cook porridge. Interestingly, on the Playground in women no age. We are all girls (“Oh, girls”), with the same interests and concerns. No matter what twenty-Lena, Vika well over thirty, and Kate soon forty-five.
What do the moms on the Playground? Primarily divided into “production” experience. You need a good speech therapist? Can’t choose a Romper for winter? Don’t know how to persuade her to eat a vegetable puree? Come to the site, here will tell you everything. However, help moms to each other not only by the Soviets. Here from hand to hands baby stuff, turns to lactic kitchen, outside wheelchair if someone needs urgently to the store. But sometimes the help is more serious. Vick is a single mom. In Moscow she has any relatives or friends. And imagine, Wiki appendicitis, she needs emergency surgery, and little Fyodor (two and a half months) no one to leave. Helped Oksana, just a friend on the Playground. She most cares a great deal: senior only went to the school, and the youngest is a little older Fedi. Despite this, she took the boy to him and Fedya she lived for almost a month until Vick is not discharged.
Dating on the Playground are tied extremely easy. Simply smiling at each other – and the conversation starts itself. In their first exits to the street with a stroller I enviously looked at fun chatting “moms”. Cruising along the paths alone is not very great joy. But as soon as I meet one young mother, after a month I already knew all veterans of the area. In eight years of living here, I was not able to acquire as much know how a few “pram” months. Each time, leaving the house, I know that I will meet someone from “our”, and we simply exchange smiles, a bad mood or fatigue vanished.
And even a Playground does not fall. So what if you don’t sleep that night and you carry on with your hairstyles? Her friends on the Playground the same graph, but they do not allow themselves to dwell, to appear in public as a hit and what is horrible. It is also “out”, which requires respect to myself and to others (like you, tortured “the mothers”). Moreover, among our mom who just do not here and hairdresser and masseuse, and the coach shaping, and the carrier of fashionable cosmetics. We and their doctors, and teachers, even his own psychic. And each (each) glad to share it.
Playground – the club is not only for moms. Here and the kids gets first experience. Dasha gave Anya candy, Senya shared with Sasha molds, and one-year-old Kate has defended her right to sit on the swing, although a three-Kirill actively forced out of her. Mothers here – only observers. Children receive their first universities.
Alas, kids grow up fast, world Playground stops to accommodate them, is close. And moms, getting stronger mentally and bodily, with children leaving their first “club of interests” – such a friendly and hospitable. Everything that happens now on the Playground, it seems unnecessary and unimportant. Children go to kindergarten, mom going back to their path – who to work, who to study.
The time will come and my daughter and get out of here. Unless, of course, we won’t have a brother…