Proper upbringing of the child
I often say that every kid – it’s the person and not his nurture, and develop a “under the General size fits all”. So the question is – and is “the proper upbringing of the child”? For me, vospitanie “right”, if the child grew up healthy physically and mentally and he grafted human values. So today I will tell you the 12 principles of child rearing, and the rest – your creativity.
What You do makes a huge difference. You – the standard of behavior for your child and all your words that you cannot scream, you have to be honest, you need to wear a hat and all the rest, will not mean anything until you will not to follow them. Do you think that will make a child, if I hear from you not to shout, and immediately after that will see how you yell at his father? Picture of the world in his head will be shaky and ambiguous, it is certainly not what you wanted to achieve. Baby learns to talk, to respond, to Express emotions, to behave in society, looking at you and daddy. So set an example.
Views on the education and actions of the parents must be United. Only then the child will feel the security and integrity of the surrounding world. If a mother comforting a baby after dad hits him on the butt with a belt, so you’re raising the paddle. Children quickly adapt to my environment and find in it their benefits. While it sounds scary, but the frequent conclusion of a psychotherapist after work with a kid whose parents have different points of view on education: “the Manipulator, capable of anything to achieve his goal”. Like secret agent 007, not four baby written, isn’t it? And it’s different positions in the hold house.
All educational measures you have to negotiate and “align” with her husband. You are together, on one side, so not “friends against” dad or mom. And within the General norms of parenting, every parent has the right to their own behavior with the child.
Be consistent in your actions. don’t change the rules every day, it can lead to undisciplined child. Many parents lack a sense sequence, with the result that the child becomes confused and does not know how to behave. Your task – to make the world child safe and secure, which means to follow the General rules of behavior day in and day out, all together.
Do not give your child everything he wants on demand. Child development is enough of everything in the house : the touch pad (you can make the most), in infancy, rattles, early childhood – books, set for walking (shovel, molds), musical exercises, counting material, designer, and handmade Montessori material.
Of course, other toys attractive to the child and they need not only for his own pleasure, but also to maintain status in a social environment. Now around the baby a lot of impressions, entertainment, and between what is “need” and that “I WANT!” is a huge gap that your baby is not yet aware of. Therefore, equips children with knowledge about money and money and let him earn what he wants.
Praise your child properly – only for the cause. Often we are overcome by emotion they go to the praise: what a beautiful child, you are good! And often after these words the child to strive to do something good. Parents think it’s great, but really – not at all. Kid tries to do something good to him again praised, he thinks that mommy loves him because he is wonderful. What to do when he has something failed? When we say “You are the most intelligent”, we assess the personality of the child and for the sake of this assessment, he will go to great lengths. Precisely the kind of praise we are forming in the baby perfectionism – the desire to be perfect for praise. It is the opposite of achievement approach, in which the child seeks to reach new heights for the sake of improvement, for a purpose, not for evaluation.
Deligence – leaders, perfectionists – surface performers. So praise your child’s achievements, for his choice or words, but not just. Instead tell the kid “You are the most intelligent”, say “You did very well with exercise,”, “I like how you built the pyramid”. Find objective about it and praise your child for what he did, not because he is the most-most.
Do not refuse the help of the kid, let him participate in household chores. During early childhood, as kids want to be like mom and dad! They see mom and sweeping too run with a broom into the dust. See how mom sets the table and grab a full glass goblets and knives. Yes, it looks dangerous and scary actually help more problems: dust gathers and scatters all over the house, glasses beat, juice spills. And, it seems, need the child to be removed from all this, it’s easier to all. But every time you take the baby broom or a glass, you say to him: “I myself, don’t need your help”. He will remember these settings and by the age of 14 you will receive “the ungrateful child who doesn’t help you”. But you just wanted to protect him and free yourself time? So I invite you to invest in the future: buy the kid a broom, let him bring a glass (if a lot of juice, pour half enough for your baby easier), give your own dust cloth, and soon you will grow up grateful assistant. Oh, by the way, all this also develops motor skills and emotions.
Dad – full member education and development. On the importance of the role of the Pope in the upbringing and development I wrote in this article. The father’s influence is difficult to overestimate – he is the guide of the child in the world, so the father must communicate with the child as often as possible and be available at any time, at least on the phone. And the time until the baby talks to dad – this is the time you will devote myself, so not to neglect the ninth principle
Nurture a child’s independence. The kid is very difficult to break away from mom, but from one to three years is going on the formation of his own “I”. Many parents equate children’s independence to disobedience and disobedience. Children seek independence for the simple reason that – like all people, they want to take control and not be controlled by someone else.
Therefore, in the period of 2-3 years is necessary to give the child freedom. Promoting independence develops self-regulation of behavior. But certain limitations help the child develop a sense of self-control. To be successful in life, he will need both of these skills: independence and self-control.
Grow baby game – teach him how to think. To three years the head is swollen from kids “why”, but it is incredibly important not only to answer the pochemuchka, but also to stimulate him further questions.
Question “Why?” – a sign of an active mental activity, it means that your kid thinks is constructing a cause-and-sledstvennye connection and begins to make logical conclusions. Well, if the child remains a game at 7.9.12,18 years. So he never ceases to improve and, instead of cramming, he will chuvstvuetsa and aware!
Even if you make a mistake in raising kids, do not consider it fatal. You are the man, and man is not perfect. We all make mistakes, but that does not mean that we are bad. Therefore, if you make a mistake, admit your mistake, change your behavior and move on.