If the child
One of the problems faced by young mothers in the process of growing up of their children, is… the greed of their kids. Sweet, kind little earlier for no apparent reason begins to be greedy and their toys, sweets and other “jewels” suddenly does not want to share not only with peers, but also… with the mother! What is it?One of the problems faced by young mothers in the process of growing up of their children, is… the greed of their kids.
Sweet, kind little earlier for no apparent reason begins to be greedy and their toys, sweets and other “jewels” suddenly does not want to share not only with peers, but also… with the mother! What is it?
But the fact that at the age of 1,5-2 years the child begins to recognize his identity, clearly to divide the subjects into “ours” and “theirs”. It seemed yesterday the kid was talking about himself in the third person, and today he says: “I”, “my”, “me”, “myself”! During this period, very acute may emerge the problem of the so-called greed. Why “so called”? Yes, because of this greed too early to say – while it is only the manifestation of a sense of ownership.
And yet, despite knowledge of psychology, many moms today and shyly blushing when their favorite child refuses to share toys with other children in the sandbox, and when you try to persuade the child to give someone a shovel or mold begins a real scandal.
With absolutely no exaggeration, this situation can be compared with the following: comes to you neighbor, opens the closet, wearing your stuff, using your cosmetics… Nice? That is the way the child is feeling. This encroachment on his private property! The child sees the world differently. All his toys are a part of the crumbs.
“So what – do you want anything?” you ask. No, need – to features that are normal for the child’s stage of personality development did not remain with him in the future, the child’s behaviour needs to be corrected. But calmly, without panic, realizing that it is just unavoidable.
So, what are the causes of this “greed”:
Protection of their property. This is a completely normal reaction. Because you also will not stand idly by if someone was going to Jack your car… Even if only to ride!
The distrust. I think the kid all the same with whom to play (if only sand is not sprinkle)? No you can’t. Even in two years the child already has their likes and dislikes, someone to trust, and someone not.
Psychological lack of love and affection from parents. This is true for families where parents work a lot, and the child is being raised by grandmothers or nannies. Or the family had a second child, “taking” all the attention of parents to himself.
How to deal with “greed”?
Explain to your child that a toy another child takes, and takes a while, play a bit and will return. Often children are afraid that their toy they will not return.
Try to persuade her to share, and it is better to swap! And be sure to emphasize that this is temporary!
In any case, do not use threats, and certainly not to take the toy away by force. Otherwise, the child will perceive it as a betrayal. The baby can be fixed by a feeling of distrust and to the most loved person – mom. Then the little angrier start protecting your toys, knowing that he can only count on yourself.
If the child is not amenable to persuasion, need to concede. Do not blame the child, not criticize, and disagree with his opinion. It’s his toy, isn’t it? Isn’t he the right to decide who to give your stuff, and who does not? After all, adults do the same with my own things?
Don’t compare your child with other children: “See, all share, and you’re not.” It is better to say “sobesednikam”: “you know me better, and then we’ll share, Yes, Egor?”.
Don’t tease the baby, ridicule his behavior and do not allow others to call the child greedy. Until the baby learns to share, to mitigate conflicts you have. And it should be done tactfully, without hurting the feelings of both parties. Accusing and stydia baby, you can develop in him a sense of guilt. And the baby would feel bad and even unloved!
Do not take on the street just purchased or expensive for a baby toy. Let the kid first plenty enough of them at home. Better take toys that have already a little fed up with the crumbs. They are nicer to change!
Salute the generosity of the child. Buy some candy, and invite your baby to treat their children in the sandbox. Most likely, baby will love the reaction of other children. After this action the generosity of the child will be more willing to share.
Show an example. Gather for someone to visit, together with the kid buy something for tea. Ask the opinion of the crumbs that it is better to buy: cookies or cake?
In the case of the long-awaited accomplishment of the exchange be sure to encourage your baby, praise and unobtrusive note that to be friends and play together very interesting.
And remember, if you comes to visit your friend with the baby, do not think that your girlfriend child automatically becomes a friend for your kid. Perhaps your child does not trust a new friend. Respect his opinion! Talk about it before the guests arrive. If you want, especially the dear child’s toys can be tucked away in advance, but if the little one decides that the other child is well drawn with a lot of strange things, and you can trust him, then he’ll get the hidden “treasures”.
Please be patient. Fortunately, the “attacks” greed usually goes away in about 3-4 years. By this time, children understand that playing together is more fun than alone.